110+ Hilarious Friday the 13th Puns That Will Have You Howling with Laughter

Think Friday the 13th is all doom and gloom. Think again. These Friday the 13th puns are here to slash the fear and serve up laughs instead. From eerie Friday the 13th jokes to groan-worthy Friday the 13th dad jokes, we’ve got killer comedy lined up just for you.

Whether you’re hiding under the covers or planning a spooky movie night, these Friday the 13th puns are perfect for breaking the tension. They’re quick, quirky, and creepily clever. Share some Friday the 13th puns with your group chat or drop them at a Halloween party. You’ll find the perfect mix of creepy and cheesy. So if you’re dying to giggle while things go bump in the night, grab your popcorn, these Friday the 13th puns are to die for.

Common Sayings: Friday the 13th Puns with a Twist

• “Better safe than stabbed by a guy in a hockey mask on Friday the 13th night.”
  
• “Curiosity killed the cat, but Jason just needed a reason and a machete.”
  
• “Don’t cry over spilled blood, it’s just another Friday the 13th tradition now.”
  
• “You can’t have your cake and scream too, especially not in Camp Crystal Lake’s kitchen.”
  
• “A penny saved is a penny earned… unless Jason finds you hiding behind the vending machine.”
  
• “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not a slasher with mother issues.”
  
• “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then offer it to Jason as a peace offering.”
  
• “A bird in the hand is worth two hiding under the bed on Friday the 13th.”
  
• “Don’t count your survivors before the final credits roll on Friday the 13th.”
  
• “Laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re in a horror movie, then it’s just suspicious.”
  
• “The early camper gets chopped first, so maybe hit snooze on Friday the 13th mornings.”
  
• “A watched phone never rings, especially when it’s cut by a masked man in the woods.”
  
• “Out of the frying pan, into a forest with a vengeful ghost and poor lighting.”
  
• “If it ain’t broke, don’t investigate the sound coming from behind the creepy barn.”
  
• “What goes around comes around, unless it’s Jason, then he’s just always coming for you.”
  
• “Don’t bite the hand that feeds, unless that hand belongs to a cursed zombie slasher.”
  
• “Every cloud has a silver lining, except the one hovering over Camp Crystal Lake.”
  
• “If you can’t beat ‘em, run faster than your friends and don’t trip.”
  
• “Speak softly and carry a big stick, but maybe add garlic and holy water too.”
  
• “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but a horror scene sure can escalate quickly.”

Knock Knock Jokes: Friday the 13th Humor at the Door

• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just Jason doing his thing again.”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Machete. Machete who? Machete’s dull, but Jason’s still pretty sharp tonight.”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Freddy. Freddy who? Freddy to run before Jason finds us out here!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Axe. Axe who? Axe anyone, you never answer doors on Friday the 13th!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Camp. Camp who? Camp believe you forgot today’s Friday the 13th!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost ahead and scream, it won’t help you now!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Scream. Scream who? Scream louder. Jason’s right behind you with a chainsaw!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Chains. Chains who? Chainsaw’s loud, but Jason still sneaks up anyway!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Slasher. Slasher who? Slasher tire? That’s how Jason caught you!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Friday. Friday who? Friday you survive tonight, we celebrate tomorrow!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Hide. Hide who? Hide and seek? Jason’s already playing, guess who’s it!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch way to the exit before Jason shows up?”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Grave. Grave who? Grave mistake answering the door on Friday the 13th!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Cabin. Cabin who? Cabin fever or masked killer, either way, we’re not safe!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Jason. Jason who? Jason you didn’t hear that noise behind you?”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Booze. Booze who? Booze won’t help when horror breaks out tonight!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Panic. Panic who? Panic now, or panic later, Jason’s coming either way!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Scary. Scary who? Scary you didn’t bring garlic, holy water, or backup!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Lucky. Lucky who? Lucky me, I didn’t camp near the lake this time!”
  
• “Knock knock. Who’s there? Knife. Knife who? Knife you don’t move now, Jason’s getting real close!”

Friday the 13th One-Liners with a Punchline

• “I told Jason to chill, he gave me the cold shoulder and a machete swing.”
  
• “Tried hiding in a closet. Jason opened it like it was a fridge with snacks.”
  
• “He said ‘Don’t panic,’ but then screamed like a banshee when he saw a squirrel.”
  
• “Went camping on Friday the 13th. The mosquitoes weren’t even the scariest thing out there.”
  
• “I brought garlic, a cross, and holy water. Jason still RSVP’d to my horror party.”
  
• “Jason walked into the room. We walked out, fast, screaming, and with unmatched cardio.”
  
• “I wore a hockey mask for Halloween. Jason filed a lawsuit for copyright infringement.”
  
• “Why run from Jason? Cardio’s free. And death’s apparently part of the weekend package.”
  
• “He whispered ‘Behind you.’ I turned. Not smart. That’s how I met Jason’s machete.”
  
• “Friday the 13th tip: If the music changes, so should your current location.”
  
• “I checked the basement. Found spiders, dust, and one very annoyed masked man.”
  
• “We played hide and seek. Jason found everyone in ten minutes. Terrifying, but efficient.”
  
• “He said ‘Let’s split up!’ I said ‘Let’s not become clichés today.'”
  
• “Jason doesn’t knock. He just opens doors like bad decisions in horror films.”
  
• “Woke up in a cabin. Saw fog. Heard footsteps. Forgot I booked Friday the 13th.”
  
• “Never trust a quiet forest. That’s when horror decides it’s time to shine.”
  
• “My GPS rerouted me through Camp Crystal Lake. That’s not a detour, it’s a death wish.”
  
• “Tried to play dead. Jason applauded the effort, then kept walking. Guess I passed?”
  
• “On Friday the 13th, even the GPS says ‘You’re on your own now.'”
  
• “I blinked and the lights flickered. Jason must be working part-time as an electrician.”

Question-and-Answer Friday the 13th Puns

• “Why did Jason go to therapy? Even masked men need to talk about mother issues.”
  
• “How do campers stay safe? They don’t, they book hotels instead of horror scenes.”
  
• “Why did Freddy avoid Jason? Even nightmares have limits, and machetes.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite holiday? Friday the 13th. No shopping, just slashing.”
  
• “How do you survive? Don’t split up, don’t go outside, and definitely don’t say ‘Hello?'”
  
• “Why didn’t Jason become a chef? Too many complaints about his chopping technique.”
  
• “What’s scarier than Jason? That one guy who says ‘Let’s camp on Friday the 13th.’”
  
• “What did Jason say after yoga class? ‘I feel killer flexibility now.'”
  
• “Why can’t Jason work in retail? He can’t handle customers, he handles campers.”
  
• “Why did the ghost leave Camp Crystal Lake? Even spirits know when to run.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite workout? Hide-and-slash cardio. Guaranteed results or your life back.”
  
• “What happened to the unlucky camper? Let’s just say the sequel didn’t feature them.”
  
• “Why don’t they film rom-coms at Camp Crystal Lake? The only sparks there are from chainsaws.”
  
• “How did Jason get through airport security? TSA just… let him.”
  
• “Why is Friday the 13th unlucky? It has Jason, bad cell service, and poor decision-making.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s job interview like? ‘I bring energy, intensity, and silence to every workplace.'”
  
• “Why don’t you invite Jason to game night? He flips the table. Every time.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s love language? Acts of service. Mainly slashing.”
  
• “Why did Jason join a band? He heard slashing solos were trending.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite movie? Anything without dialogue, he relates deeply.”

Friday the 13th Jokes For Kids

• “Why didn’t the skeleton camp on Friday the 13th? He didn’t have the guts!”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite dessert? Ice scream sandwiches with a side of spooky sauce!”
  
• “Why was the mummy scared on Friday the 13th? Jason unwraps problems very quickly!”
  
• “What do you call a monster’s diary? A scream journal, perfect for Friday the 13th!”
  
• “Why did the ghost take a shower? So he could be clean before spooking campers!”
  
• “What’s a zombie’s favorite class? Deaducation, especially on Friday the 13th!”
  
• “Why did the vampire bring a backpack? To carry his snacks and extra fangs!”
  
• “How do werewolves brush their fur? Very carefully when the moon’s full!”
  
• “Why don’t skeletons fight Jason? He already has a bone to pick!”
  
• “What do you get when you cross a cat with Jason? A scary meow-chete!”
  
• “Why didn’t the kid scream? He thought Jason was just a spooky Halloween costume!”
  
• “What do witches eat on Friday the 13th? Spaghetti with eyeballs and a splash of scream!”
  
• “Why was the bat a great listener? He hung on every word, even Jason’s footsteps!”
  
• “Why did the pumpkin turn red? It saw Jason and lost its seeds!”
  
• “What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek, especially near Camp Crystal Lake!”
  
• “What does Jason wear in the rain? A slasher-coat with extra pockets for scare gear!”
  
• “Why did the spider run from Jason? Even eight legs aren’t fast enough sometimes!”
  
• “Why don’t kids tell scary stories in tents? Jason might be listening from behind the flap!”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite color? Blood red, but he’s open to spooky shades of black!”
  
• “Why do monsters love Fridays? Because even they get to joke around on the 13th!”

Read More: Skin Deep Humor: 201+ Dermatology Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Friday the 13th Proverbs: Wise and Witty

• “He who laughs last didn’t see Jason sneaking up with a machete.”
  
• “A silent forest holds the loudest screams, just wait until Jason starts walking.”
  
• “Foolish is the one who checks the basement twice on Friday the 13th.”
  
• “A closed door may protect you, but Jason prefers windows anyway.”
  
• “One camper’s scream is another camper’s warning to run faster.”
  
• “Beware the fog, for it hides more than just bad directions and creepy trees.”
  
• “Don’t follow the music, it never leads anywhere safe in a horror movie.”
  
• “A hockey mask today keeps all the happy endings away.”
  
• “The quietest lake often has the loudest endings.”
  
• “Those who run together get chased together, unless one trips first.”
  
• “On Friday the 13th, silence isn’t golden. It’s terrifying.”
  
• “Every horror story starts with ‘It’ll be fun, they said…’”
  
• “Jason speaks no evil, but his machete says plenty.”
  
• “If your flashlight flickers, so does your chance of survival.”
  
• “Dark paths invite brave hearts, and foolish campers.”
  
• “It’s not paranoia if you’re camping on Friday the 13th.”
  
• “The blood of the careless feeds the legend.”
  
• “Speak not of survival, just show it with your running shoes.”
  
• “Even courage fails when Jason appears behind you.”
  
• “On Friday the 13th, even shadows run for cover.”

Pop Culture: Friday the 13th Jokes with a Twist

• “If Jason joined the Avengers, he’d be the strong, silent type, very strong, very silent, very stabby.”
  
• “Imagine Jason in ‘The Office’, he’d never talk, but productivity would spike out of fear.”
  
• “If Barbie visited Camp Crystal Lake, it’d become ‘Screamhouse Dreamhouse’ in under five minutes.”
  
• “Jason watching Netflix is just him rating every horror film five machetes out of five.”
  
• “If Jason played Mario Kart, he’d only use banana peels and sudden teleporting.”
  
• “What if Jason went on a cooking show? Chopping skills? A+, seasoning? Not so much.”
  
• “In a Marvel multiverse, Jason’s probably just a misunderstood forest ranger with severe helmet issues.”
  
• “If Taylor Swift wrote about Jason, it’d be called ‘You Belong with Me… in the Woods.’”
  
• “Jason in Star Wars? The machete is strong with this one.”
  
• “Imagine Jason in Hogwarts, definitely a Slytherin, definitely banned from potions class forever.”
  
• “If Jason was in a boy band, he’d be the one who never sings, just swings.”
  
• “Jason wouldn’t last on Survivor. Too many alliances, not enough machete diplomacy.”
  
• “If Jason was in ‘Friends,’ the Central Perk couch wouldn’t survive the first scene.”
  
• “He tried TikTok, went viral for machete hacks, got banned for ‘community violations.'”
  
• “If Jason joined Scooby-Doo, the gang would quit. Scooby’s snacks can’t fix that.”
  
• “Jason on The Bachelor? No roses. Just red flags and police reports.”
  
• “In Minecraft, Jason would skip crafting, just straight-up slash mode, no building.”
  
• “Jason on American Idol? Silent audition. Judges still voted yes… out of fear.”
  
• “If Jason watched Stranger Things, he’d relate to the Upside Down, it’s quiet and full of screams.”
  
• “Put Jason in Fast & Furious and suddenly Vin Diesel wants to walk.”

Friday the 13th Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Good

• “I told Jason to chill, he said, ‘I’m already cold-blooded, thanks.’”
  
• “Why did the ghost leave the party? He couldn’t handle Jason’s deadpan humor.”
  
• “I asked Jason if he liked camping, he said, ‘I’m more into cutting tents in half.’”
  
• “What did the slasher say after a long day? ‘I’m just dying for some rest.’”
  
• “I tried to prank Jason. He said, ‘Nice try, I invented jump scares.’”
  
• “Jason opened a bakery, every donut comes with a surprise scream filling.”

• “Why did Jason go to school? He wanted to major in axe-cellent decision making.”
  
• “I asked Jason to dance. He said, ‘Only if the floor’s covered in fog and fear.’”
  
• “Jason’s favorite snack? Cereal killers, it’s just flakes with a splash of horror.”
  
• “Why won’t Jason get a pet? He doesn’t want anything that screams before breakfast.”
  
• “What did Jason say to the fashion designer? ‘Needs more blood and mystery, less sparkle.’”
  
• “Jason started a podcast, called it ‘Stab Chats with Silent Types.’”
  
• “What’s Jason’s favorite instrument? The scream whistle, totally off-key, totally terrifying.”
  
• “I asked Jason for directions. He handed me a machete and said, ‘Good luck.’”
  
• “Why doesn’t Jason use GPS? He prefers getting lost… with you.”
  
• “What do you call Jason on vacation? Relaxed but still deadly, kind of like a haunted hammock.”
  
• “Jason tried stand-up comedy, people laughed, but only because he blocked the exit.”
  
• “Why did Jason start knitting? He wanted to stitch together memories… and victims.”
  
• “Jason’s idea of self-care? Long walks in the woods and deeply personal screaming.”
  
• “What’s Jason’s bedtime routine? Brush mask, sharpen machete, scare campers, lights out.”

Extra Friday the 13th-tastic Laughs

• “If fear had a face, it’d wear a hockey mask and swing a machete in moonlight.”
  
• “Jason doesn’t trick or treat, he just shows up and the candy throws itself at him.”
  
• “Friday the 13th is just Monday’s creepy cousin that knows how to make an entrance.”
  
• “Camp Crystal Lake isn’t on Google Maps, for good reason.”
  
• “Jason’s favorite pickup line? ‘Wanna go for a walk… alone… in the dark?’”
  
• “Jason doesn’t need therapy. He’s the reason therapists raise their rates.”
  
• “If nightmares had an icon, Jason would be on the T-shirt… and probably behind you.”
  
• “Don’t play hide and seek with Jason. He’s undefeated.”
  
• “Even the Grim Reaper crosses the street when he sees Jason coming.”
  
• “Jason doesn’t get invited to parties. He RSVPs with a chainsaw emoji anyway.”
  
• “Friday the 13th: when even your shadow second-guesses sticking around.”
  
• “Jason’s the kind of guy who doesn’t knock, he just appears behind you.”
  
• “Jason’s version of social distancing is… permanent.”
  
• “In horror movie logic, splitting up always means Jason wins.”
  
• “Why buy alarm systems? Just tape a Jason poster to the window.”
  
• “Jason once went to therapy. The therapist moved… states.”
  
• “If Jason had a theme song, it’d be screams set to elevator music.”
  
• “You don’t find Jason. Jason finds you, then offers a silent stare of doom.”
  
• “He doesn’t run, but he’s always there, Jason’s cardio game is supernatural.”
  
• “Friday the 13th is when even brave flashlights think twice about turning on.”

FAQ’s

What are Friday the 13th puns?

Friday the 13th puns are funny, spooky one-liners or puns based on superstitions, scary movies, and creepy situations. People love sharing Friday the 13th puns during horror-themed events or scary nights.

Are Friday the 13th puns scary or funny?

Most Friday the 13th puns are meant to be funny with a spooky twist. They mix creepy themes with humor so you can laugh while still getting those Friday the 13th vibes.

Can kids enjoy Friday the 13th puns too?

Yes, many Friday the 13th puns are made just for kids. They’re silly, fun, and not too scary, so even young ones can laugh along on spooky days.

Why do people tell Friday the 13th puns?

People love using Friday the 13th puns to make light of a spooky day. It helps turn creepy vibes into laughter and brings some fun into horror-themed moments.

Where can I find the best Friday 13th jokes?

You can find the best friday 13th jokes online, in joke books, or on funny blogs. They’re shared everywhere during October, Halloween, or anytime Friday the 13th rolls around.

Conclusion

Friday 13th jokes are the perfect way to laugh through the spooky. From creepy setups to silly punchlines, these friday the 13th jokes turn fear into fun. Whether you’re telling friday the 13th puns at a party or texting friday 13th jokes to a friend, they always bring smiles. Even the creepiest day feels lighter with a good laugh. It’s all about finding humor in the haunted.

These friday the 13th jokes aren’t just for horror fans. Everyone can enjoy friday the 13th dad jokes and clever friday the 13th puns. They’re short, funny, and easy to share. Use them at school, work, or your next scary movie night. Laughter beats bad luck every time. So keep your favorite Friday the 13th puns handy. You never know when you’ll need a laugh before Jason shows up.